I got to thinking the other day about how my childhood was a prequel to having my daughters. It is strange, but when I was growing up and playing with dolls my friends would play with one baby, while I always insisted on 2. I would tell everyone that one day I would have twins. I was eight and telling everyone what would one day come to pass. I did not use the names that I had picked out then, Sara and Tara. I am glad that I didn't too. My daughters do not look like those names. I just thought that it was strange that I knew I would not have a single birth.
Well, my daughters are 6 weeks old on Friday. It is strange looking back on what it was like with them in the hospital. At times, it feels like it was just a bad dream. Then, when they are fussing the most, I occasionally want them back there so I can get some sleep. I do not want their health to be back there, just the extra help that I had while they were in the hospital. I knew that a nurse was close by to answer my fears, and to help me with them. I did not have the worries that I do now. Am I doing everything right? Am I providing them everything they need? Are they growing right? Am I providing enough food for them since I am breastfeeding? Etc... All of my answers were right there, and everything was monitored. I am scared that I am doing something wrong, but keep doing just to try to do my best for them.
On a more positive note, my family has been having fears about my cat. They are afraid that he is going to hurt them. OK, my cat is psychotic (he runs for no reason, and attacks insects through the glass, and he thinks he is a hairdresser), but actually it is strange. He just goes up to the girls, sniffs them, then either walks away or sits close to them watching them. It is like he is saying, I don't know who they are but they are small and I will protect them. He did the same with me while I was pregnant. He was just always there. It was actually kind of comforting, and I think that even then he knew they were coming. He does not bother them, and does not really come near them, just is near by as if to say that if he is needed, he is there.
Well, it is also the end of the third week of treatment for Sierra, and I am anxious to find out how her feet are doing. I will let you know later.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
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2 comments:
We've never met but I got your blog from kaden and agel ava's mommy. I felt the same way when we finally got to bring our kids home from the hospital we didn't have twins but both kids were in for quite awhile. I actually begged my daughters doc to let us go home then got home and thought what was I thinking but everything worked out great as it will for you. It sounds like your allready doing a great job. Good luck on your apt.
Don't worry so much about feeding them. As long as you are offering it to them often, they will be fine, and let them nurse till they are done. They have really filled out nicely and look so healthy! Call and talk to me anytime you want! I bet we could both use the adult conversation :). Hope to come down and see you soon!
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