10 weeks old

Time really does fly. It seems like only yesterday I was giving birth and worrying about them during their stay in the hospital. Well, the hospital stay is over, Sierra's feet are straight and are now just in shoes to keep them that way, and they have both finally started to gain weight. In fact, on this last Friday, they were taken off of the regular weight checks because they gained a whole pound in one week. Sierra now weights 7lbs 2oz and Alyssa is at 6lbs 3oz. I know, for 2 months old this is still too small, but considering that they were born 6 weeks early, it is a great improvement.
I have a meeting this week with a nurse. She is going to come interview me and see if we are candidates for SoonerCare (Oklahoma's nurse on call and medical insurance program for children), primarily for the nurse at home checkups. They are wanting to monitor the girls' weight gains, since it has not been where it should be.
We are also in a family counselling study. We get to attend marriage, family and parenting group counseling classes that teach us improved techniques in hopes that they will be able to lower the divorce rate in Oklahoma. We get paid to attend these classes, and it teaches how to still be a couple while being parents, how to encourage each other and our children, as well as general care of infants, and communication techniques. It is, to say the least, very informative and interesting. It is overall an idea generator.
The unfortunate thing is that next Monday, on the 17th, I go back to work. I originally thought that I would be looking forward to it. The closer and closer it gets, however, I am getting sadder. I want to stay with my girls. I love them so much and do not want to have to take them to a sitter, even though it is a friend of ours. I will not be there to see to their needs during the day, and am dreading turning that over to anyone. Even if it is only for a short time. I am afraid that my first day back all I will accomplish is crying my eyes out. This is not a good thing. Crying is generally frowned upon when you are working in the customer service industry.
We are also going to see my grandma and my aunts, uncles, and cousins that live in northern Kansas. We are looking forward to seeing you and introducing you to our little miracles.
Mommy and daddy love you girls. You mean the world to us.

Tummy Time for Alyssa

Today, I thought that since I showed off Sierra's amazing skills on her belly, it was time for everyone to see Alyssa's. I can not believe how much their situation is improving. As you can tell, she is finally gaining weight. I am glad that the formula is working, and I am also starting to notice that what I am pumping is getting less transparent in color. I believe that this means that there is more nutrients in it. I hope so. I know that it may sound like false hope, but it could mean that I might get to start breastfeeding them again. I will find out on November 7. I know that they have to put on more weight yet, but maybe when they have caught up, if the milk is still coming in with this consistency, then I might be able to again. I sure hope so.
Well, without further ado, here is Alyssa...

Our first Halloween

Halloween was a bit of fun for the girls. With the night being so beautiful, we took the girls out with some friends of ours. The oldest boy and girl are the girls' babysitter's kids.

The next picture is of her friend and her kid, another one that she babysits.

And here are the girls in their stroller. Prior to trick-or-treating, they came with me to my job for a company costume contest. We won a minor prize. What they said was rather funny. They said that last year she(me) was a chicken, well over the year she seems to have laid her eggs and brought them with her. So they gave me an award for being brave. It was rather funny.

We did not get any candy, as the girls are obviously too little, just mainly walked with our friends as their kids went up to the houses. I am looking forward to next year and them actually being able to participate. It was a very nice night all the same.

First one thing, then another...

Well, it seems that we have come so far from the hospital, but some of the problems still remain. I had a weight check this past week. The girls actually failed. They are not gaining weight like they should be. I am now no longer able to breastfeed them exclusively. After their appointment this last Thursday, I had to schedule an appointment with their doctor. He agreed with the findings, so now I am back to pumping. The girls are now getting 2 oz of a special formula mixed with 1 oz breast milk. It is difficult, because I feel that I have been starving them, and not intentionally. I tried so hard to be able to breastfeed them, but they were not get enough calories from it.
The good news is that the formula is working. They are finally starting to gain weight. I just am left feeling like a failure to provide for them, or not to notice it sooner and be able to take action sooner. Alyssa is at a very dangerous weight. She was only weighing 5lbs4oz at 18" long. This means that my baby girl was so skinny that she had nothing, but I did not think it was a cause for concern. She had been so skinny from when she was born, I thought that it was just how she was going to be. I did not know that I was not providing enough food for her. I am thankful that it was discovered before she had to go back into the hospital, but I still feel responsible. I should of noticed it and saw someone immediately before she got that skinny.
Sierra also was not gaining weight fast enough, but it was not as bad as her sister. I feel like we are getting past one hurdle, only to find another immediately in front of us. When do we get to stop having these problems??? I would really like to have a break from facing these minor issues. Yes, I do know that they are minor, but we can not seem to get past them. We get past one, and have another.
Sierra, though, has had enough weight to try to meet some milestones. I am going to stop griping, because seeing Sierra try to figure out how to crawl is amazing since only 2 months ago we were afraid that she would not be able to do this this soon. She has got her legs figured out, as you can see in the video. She just can not lift her upper body yet. Keep trying baby girl, you'll get there.

Alyssa, we love you and your sister very much. Keep fighting, and I promise to pay more attention. I am sorry that I did not notice sooner.

Before & After & her new shoes!!!

Well, the cast is off... here is what she looked like before.

And here is what they look like now. Boy what a difference.

Here is her new shoes that she has to wear until she is at least 2 years old to keep her feet from growing back to club.

After seeing this, it makes it so much easier to accept the casts, crying, and everything that we had to do to get there. Hang in there babygirl. We are so happy about your progress.