Photos

These two are from a visit we had with Grandma and Grandpa Carter (Gary's Parents)

My mom's boyfriend's relatives found dresses in preemie sizes. Seeing as we could not find any, I really wish I knew where they were found. Anyway, they looked so cute, I couldn't resist taking a few photos of them. Here is Sierra:

And here is Alyssa:

I cannot believe how much they have grown. Slow down Girls!!! LOL.

After week one of treatment

While it is still hard to see our sweet baby in a cast, we were reaffirmed last Thursday why we are doing this for her. When they took off that cast and put on the next one, it was amazing the progress her feet had made. Even the doctor looked optimistic. He said that if things progress as quick as they did that week, then she might not need surgery after all... GOD I hope so. I really do not want to have to put her through that as well.
They went ahead and put new casts on her feet, and now her feet look like they are backwards.... but it is only an optical illusion.
They are 4 weeks old now. Boy, time sure does fly. They are both getting so big. They still wear some preemie clothes, but they are starting to grow out of them. Soon, I will be putting them in more newborn onesies. Alyssa is growing in length, and Sierra is putting on some chunk. It is so cute to see them as such. I only hope that Alyssa starts putting some meat on. She is one strong baby, and has amazing muscle tone, but I don't like seeing her so skinny. They both eat a lot, they are just putting their weight on differently. Alyssa is looking more and more like her daddy body wise, and me face wise. Sierra seems to be the opposite, looking like her daddy in the face and me in the body. It is neat to see. I am really enjoying seeing us in them.
Girls, keep going strong. Daddy and I love you and are happy that you are home.

And the times get tougher...

Well, this last Friday, Sierra started treatment for her club feet. It is hard to deal with because she is in casts that start at her feet and go up to her hips. The doctor told us that it is harder on us than her, but I know my baby girl is hurting. The first night was so tough. We could not do anything for her other than soothe her. I can not tell her that it is better that it get fixed now, that the pain will be shorter this way, that it is for the best, or any of the things parents want to tell their child when they know they are hurting. All I can do is stare at this precious angel and know she is in pain and I can not do anything to help. I have discovered that the old saying, "this is going to hurt me more than you", to fit in this instance. She is fine with the cast now, but I know when the new one this week gets put on, it is going to be a repeat. I know that this is going to probably hurt even more, because we now know what is going to happen, but our little girl does not.

The girls had their check-up today, and the doctor said that they are doing well. They have both gained weight. Alyssa had to have her billiruben checked again, her jaundice is back, but appears to be mild. Sierra is doing well other than her feet. The nurses at the office all fell in love with the girls, and shortly after we walked in, the girls had a mini-parade where every nurse saw them. It was quite funny, and sweet how everyone was taken with them. I just stood there and watched all the nurses follow this routine of sanitize, hold a baby, pass, repeat. It was cute.

I am still waiting on the results of Alyssa's bloodwork and Sierra will get a new cast later this week. Sierra will be getting a new one every week for a while, and they said that treatment will last 2 to 4 months. I am hoping that it is closer to the 2 month time frame.

Girls, Daddy and I love you very much, and I know we will be able to look back on all of this and think it was not so hard, but right now, with everything that you both have been through, it is tough for all of us. We love you and do not want to see you in pain. Daddy even cried when he saw you, Sierra, in so much pain. It is so hard for us to see that. We don't want to do anything that causes either of you any pain, but know that in this case we must. Keep that smile on. We love to see it.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

Home at last...

Yesterday we finally got to bring our daughters home. It was so wonderful. They got released at 3pm, and I could not have been happier. While we did not get much sleep last night, Gary and I are both pleased to have our little girls home. Thank you all for your prayers. I am sure that this probably would not have happened quite so soon without them.

Amy, in a way, I think that Ava is looking out for our entire family. I am sure that she had a part in bringing my girls home as she did in you getting a healthy baby boy this pregnancy. I want you to know that although I did not get to meet her, she has touched our lives. She has shown Gary and I that every minute is precious and to treasure each one. That being said, we wish you the best with your little boy and know that Ava is probably in Grandpa's hands sending down all of her love and watching over her baby brother until he is born. She truely is your guardian angel and I know from her pictures that she knew she was loved, and knows that she is loved still.
With Kaden, he is definately the families little miracle. He is one of the sweetest little boys that I have ever met, and I feel that he is truely a blessing to all of us. He shows us the way we all should be. I know that it may sound selfish, but both Kaden and Ava are reminders to me when I feel like complaining over little things. I look at their pictures and think to myself that if anyone has a right to complain it is your two precious children, and they bring nothing but smiles.
Anyway, know that you and Nate continue to be an inspiration, and I just hope that we can do as well with our two.

photos

Motherhood...

After Kaden was born, I use to wonder how Amy dealt with it. With her son being so sick, and never knowing if that day would be his last. Then, I saw her do it again with Ava, and seeing her still dealing with the loss of her precious daughter. I would think to myself that I could never handle having a sick child. I would be in wonderment over the strength that she has shown day in and day out and wish that I could be such a wonderful mother when my time came.

Well, my time has come. During my pregnancy, I would pray that my daughters be healthy and that I would get to bring them home. God, I guess, had a different plan. He decided to answer my question in how Amy and Nate got through it. While my daughters and far better off than Kaden and Ava were when they were born, there has been many steps that they have had to take to get to where they would be able to come home. Now that I am at the end of their hospital stay (they should be coming home soon according to the doctor), I realize how they did it. It is the simpliest and hardest thing to do, and that is simply you just do. You take everything that you get from them and be thankful everyday that you got that. It is amazing how the simple things wind up being the hardest, and the hardest the simplist. It is easiest for me when I am doing, when I am taking care of my girls or simply sitting in the rocking chair that is in their section of the nursery and watching them. Leaving them there everyday tears my heart out. The fear that I will get a call from the hospital that something bad has happened hits then and does not leave until I see them the next day.

The nurses and my husband say that I have the "baby blues". I simply call it motherhood.

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I know in my heart that they have reached Heaven, because my girls are being prepaired to come home. I now must ask for the prayers to go out for one of my teachers in college. They had a little girl named Parker, who was born 3 days prior to my daughters. She was born 8 weeks early and underwent minor brain surgery the next day. She had a large fluid buildup on her brain that had to be drained for her survival. She is doing well, but I feel that prayers would be a help for her.

I also wanted to send Congrats out to Amy and Nate again. I was so happy to hear that your sono came out well, and continue to pray for Kaden, peace for Ava, and a healthy, happy delivery of your baby boy. We love you guys so much, and the girls send their love.

Kangaroo Care

Prior to the girls being removed from NICU, we had been doing kangaroo care. For those that do not know what this is, it is where the parents take off their shirt and hold the baby skin to skin. This is very helpful for premature infants because it helps their body to learn how to hold their temperature, can calm a baby, provide comfort, and help their digestive system. For the mothers of premature infants, it helps their milk come in, and provides reassurance that their baby really is OK. This program has proven to help reduce the preemie death rate drastically, and is being used in several underdeveloped countries that do not have the health care that the US has.

What was strange about our kangaroo sessions is that I have twins, and that Gary actually participated. To many, this would not seem strange, but while we doing this, we found out that many fathers did not do this for their children, on the moms. I found this odd, but when the nurse told me that many times dads are afraid to hold their children in fear that they would hurt them, it started to make sense. I took pictures of both of us kangarooing our children. Here they are:

The blanket is used to keep the baby warm in all areas that are not touching skin. This is Alyssa kangarooing with her dad. The strange part of this picture, is this is not the typical kangaroo hold. The typical hold would be to put the baby on your chest, but while she was in NICU, she would get fussy if we tried this, so we had to modify to help her get the most from it.

All of our pictures are of Alyssa being kangarooed. We could not hold Sierra for several days. She was very sensitive to touch and it would cause her to panic. To be able to get her stable, we could only touch her and not hold. Things are better with her now. I was holding her in the kangaroo position and she actually started to "root". This is very encouraging for me that she was because it means that she was looking for my breast to nurse. Considering that she is not very interested in the bottle, I was very pleased that she seemed to want to try to nurse. I can not start trying until I get approval from the doctor, but I am going to talk to him today and see what he says. Hopefully he will let me start soon, pumping sucks!

Update on the girls

Well, Alyssa and Sierra just completed their first graduation today. They have been removed from the jaundice lights and have been taken out of NICU. They are now in incubators. They are also being started on bottle feeding. Once they are able to accomplish the bottle feeding they will be able to start breastfeeding. They do not anticipate any problems in the switch since both girls have been getting my expressed breast milk and seem to like the taste. I am confident that once we try breastfeeding and they know that is where it comes from, it will be a pretty smooth transition.

Also, they are still on IVs because they are not quite getting enough fluids, but they are being increased at least every other day. It was really awesome to see them out of the NICU and in the incubators, although it is a little awkward trying to take their temperatures and change their diapers, both of which we have been doing since they were first admitted to NICU.

Alyssa and Sierra,
Good job girls on all the progress, they day is getting here soon when we will be able to bring you home. We love you very much and are very proud of both of you.

Introducing...

On Thursday, I went into labor at about 8:30 pm. We were admitted to the hospital after our scheduled visit with my doctor.

After continuing to labor and getting evaluated by the doctors, they decided that it was time to meet my daughters. I delivered them at 4:53 and 4:54 pm on Friday via c-section. So, I would like to introduce to you all my precious daughters.

Sierra Dawn Carter. Born: 4:53. 5lbs, 17.2" long

Alyssa Leighanne Carter. Born: 4:54 pm, 4lbs 10.7 oz, 16 1/4"

Unfortunately, they will not be able to come home until about 2 weeks after they were born. They were 6 weeks premature and are receiving help from the wonderful nurses at Integris Southwest to be able to come home. They have a small amount of Jondas that is being treated, and they will need to be able to maintain their body heat, feed on their own, and hold down their food before they will be released. They anticipate their ability to overcome these difficulties in about 2 weeks. I can not wait to be able to bring them home.

Sierra had a small problem with her breathing that she has already overcome. She had to be on a cpac machine that pushed extra air into her lungs when she breathed. She was a little weak from the delivery and was unable to fully fill her lungs at first. Within 48 hours, she was able to do so, and was promptly removed from the machine. She is doing much better, but will still have to meet with an orthopedic surgeon because she has club feet and it will need to be corrected. They have a few options to be able to do so, one is a cast in which they would gradually force her feet to be corrected, they can also do this with a splint. If theses do not work, she will need to undergo surgery to correct them, but they are correctable.

Welcome my sweet daughters. We are so happy to finally meet you, and are looking forward to bringing you home.