After Kaden was born, I use to wonder how Amy dealt with it. With her son being so sick, and never knowing if that day would be his last. Then, I saw her do it again with Ava, and seeing her still dealing with the loss of her precious daughter. I would think to myself that I could never handle having a sick child. I would be in wonderment over the strength that she has shown day in and day out and wish that I could be such a wonderful mother when my time came.
Well, my time has come. During my pregnancy, I would pray that my daughters be healthy and that I would get to bring them home. God, I guess, had a different plan. He decided to answer my question in how Amy and Nate got through it. While my daughters and far better off than Kaden and Ava were when they were born, there has been many steps that they have had to take to get to where they would be able to come home. Now that I am at the end of their hospital stay (they should be coming home soon according to the doctor), I realize how they did it. It is the simpliest and hardest thing to do, and that is simply you just do. You take everything that you get from them and be thankful everyday that you got that. It is amazing how the simple things wind up being the hardest, and the hardest the simplist. It is easiest for me when I am doing, when I am taking care of my girls or simply sitting in the rocking chair that is in their section of the nursery and watching them. Leaving them there everyday tears my heart out. The fear that I will get a call from the hospital that something bad has happened hits then and does not leave until I see them the next day.
The nurses and my husband say that I have the "baby blues". I simply call it motherhood.
Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers. I know in my heart that they have reached Heaven, because my girls are being prepaired to come home. I now must ask for the prayers to go out for one of my teachers in college. They had a little girl named Parker, who was born 3 days prior to my daughters. She was born 8 weeks early and underwent minor brain surgery the next day. She had a large fluid buildup on her brain that had to be drained for her survival. She is doing well, but I feel that prayers would be a help for her.
I also wanted to send Congrats out to Amy and Nate again. I was so happy to hear that your sono came out well, and continue to pray for Kaden, peace for Ava, and a healthy, happy delivery of your baby boy. We love you guys so much, and the girls send their love.
Friday, September 12, 2008
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You're right, you do what you have to do, and it comes easy because the love you have for your children is a love that is greater then any love you have ever experienced.
About the "baby blues"...I really find it hard for a mommy not to get upset over the little things when their child (or children in your case) is in the hospital, when they can't do all the mommy things that mommies are suppose to do with their babies and (you said it) having to leave them every night. What mommy wouldn't take that hard??? Don't worry too much about it, they said the same thing to me when Kaden was in the hospital...uh duh, look at my baby he is fighting for his life, of course I am a litte out of sorts. If you get home and it continues then maybe you should talk to your doctor.
I am glad to hear that they are doing well and preparing to come home. How exciting and scary at the same time. Are you ready to handle two babies???!!! Make sure you are getting your rest now. So when are your dad and Anne coming down. I hope they are doing alright with all that is going on in Galveston. I heard that they relocated for now. That is good. I hope their house makes it out ok. Well, thinking and praying for you guys. I will pray for baby Parker as well.
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